Victim blaming
Everything you need to know about...
“Why did you send that photo?’’ “It’s not smart to send a nude photo.” “You wanted this?” “You’re just looking for attention.” “I told you to never do these kinds of things!” This is victim blaming. In other words: getting comments that cause or increase feelings of guilt in you. It could also be that you are so afraid of such accusations that prevents you from talking about what you are experiencing. What can you do?
‘’Whenever a forwarded nude photo was discussed, people would say: it’s your own fault, you shouldn’t send it. So, I started to believe it.’’
- Yara
Victim blaming can increase feelings of guilt that you may already have. Accusatory reactions can sometimes even feel worse than the online sexual abuse itself. The fear of victim blaming can also prevent you from telling anyone anything. This can make you feel very alone.
You are not guilty and not to blame! You are not the only one who feels this way: 64% of people who experience (online) sexual abuse are unable to talk about it due to feelings of guilt.
What can you do if you are blamed or afraid of being blamed?
Write about it
It can feel good to write down what happened and write about your feelings. This can be a first step to disclosing the experience with people around you. You can write down your story by clicking on the button below. You can choose to keep your written story to yourself or to share it (anonymously) on our story page. Almost 300 others have gone before you.
Tell someone you trust
Talking to someone you trust can bring relief. This way you know that you don't have to do it alone.
Good to remember
Please know that it is not your fault: you did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. The person who shames, threatens, blackmails, or abuses you is the one at fault.
People who can help you
If you don’t have anyone in your surroundings you can or dare to talk to, you can ask questions or chat anonymously with a professional from Centrum Seksueel Geweld, Fier, and Helpwanted. Together you can figure out what your next step could be.
